Love, Courtship, Marriage

--Courtship is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

--It is said that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.

--When a newly married man looks happy, people know why. But when a man has been married for 10 years and still looks happy, people wonder why.

--A man madly in love said that he would go through hell for her. Then they got married, and sure enough, he now is going through HELL.


--WHAT IS MARRIAGE?

1. Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence---a life sentence.

2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.

3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's and the woman gets her master's.

4. Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

5. Marriage requires listening:
--In the 1st year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
--In the 2nd year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
--In the 3rd year, they both speak and the NEIGHBORS listens.

6. Marriage is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead.

7. Marriage is a give and take: the husband gives and the wife takes.

8. Marriage is when a man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

9. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished.

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--When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

--After marriage, husband and wife are like the two sides of a coin. They don't face each other, but they stay together.

--Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage the "Y" is dropped.

--Losing a wife is not only hard, it is almost impossible.

--At a cocktail party, one woman asked another: "Aren't you wearing your ring in the wrong finger?"
The other replied, "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

--A man placed an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED. The next day he received a hundred letters and they all said the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE MINE.

--When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing - either the car is new or the wife is.

--A son asked his father: "How much does it cost to get married, Dad?"
The father replied: "I really don't know, Son. I'm still paying for it."

--Another son asked: "Is is true, Dad, that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
The father answered: "That happens everywhere, Son. EVERYWHERE!"